Friday, 2 July 2010


Westminster has all the characteristics of a living entity, but no discernable heart. It dominates Britain like the fairytale Dragon dominates the simple village.

But the Monster of Westminster does not devour maidens, as such, rather it destroys all that is embodied in her archetype: uncorrupted decency. Like any life-form, the Westminster Monster is programmed to survive, and has adapted well to its location. It will mutate further, if its life is threatened – but suicide will never be an option. Dragons do not vote for St George’s Day. When injured (a rare event) the Minster Monster has a range of recovery mechanisms and repair strategies – its self-healing properties are legendary.

Within Westminster, human units function as ‘cells’, performing a variety roles, but always with a ‘collective mind’ dedicated to the survival of the host body. Renewal of aberrant, redundant or dead cells, is by incremental replacement. Periodic ‘elections’ are performed among the ordinary folk, wherein they are permitted to choose from candidates already proxy-vetted by the parties; the parties in turn, in thrall to the Monster. This ensures unending life for the Minster Monster.

This Dragon has dominated our ‘village’ for so long, no one questions its stranglehold on all our lives. A few who supply treasure – the other obsession of Dragons – escape its foul breath and baleful eye, the rest live and die unquestioning. No villager has the given name of ‘George’ any more.


  1. Yes, the Monster of Westminster doesn't actually devour maidens but it is making sure that they get injected with vaccines from as young an age as possible! It doesn't breathe real fire but it can play around with expensive toys, dangerous chemicals and hypodermic needles under the guise of public good!! If the nation's babes don't get febrile convulsions or standard side effects - even autism from the childhood checklist programme, then to be extra sure - why not eh? - they get their quota of chemical preservatives and disabling neurotoxins, the Westminster Monster masterminds a special HPV vaccination programme that can be whisked into the schools system from age 12! Next, the Westminster Monster agrees to have a (quiet) debate (at the end of an evening) about the growing numbers of girls having serious side effects but couldn't possibly admit that girls across the land are being poisoned en masse. The Westminster Monster resorts to being bossy and deaf and calling people names - 'SCAREMONGERS!' And we daren't think what the chemicals might do to the girls' fertility in the future because that would be begging the question of how does a government keep the population figures under control.

    Oh well, where is a knight in shining armour when we need one? You know, Barrie - Queen Boadicea to the rescue! She is right there at Westminster Bridge keeping a needle-sharp eye on that heartless old monster, and she looks pretty determined doesn't she?

  2. The irony is, Grace, that Emmeline stands even closer to The Palace of Westminster, smiling down on the efforts to get 50% woe-men onto the benches, shifting power, even further, into the male domain. Perhaps a duel to the death between Boadicea and Pankhurst is the only answer?