“I, Destiny Dave, will give the people of Britain (at a time of my choosing – if I’m in power at all) a simple IN – OUT referendum.
The people will be given a simple choice:
“IN” with CASHBACK! Automatic entry into a free lottery. A free pen. Two tickets to Alton Towers (conditions apply). An EU recipe book. £20 worth of Marks and Spencer vouchers (conditions apply). A randomly selected DVD movie. A French wine voucher. A map of the EU. A Eurostar timetable. A pack of felt pens.
“The choice will be a simple IN – OUT vote; the people will decide. This is British, Westminster, Dave Cameron, Democracy at its finest. Some say it is ‘D’ MOCK CRASS Y? and they ask why Dave Cameron should be believed. Well, what I say to people is: I’m a pretty straight kind of guy.”